Family Ministry- A Model- Milestone 7

Part 1


Part 2


Part 3- Milestones 1 & 2

Part 4- Milestones 3 & 4

Part 5- Milestones 5 & 6

Well...we've "made it".  And, if you'll notice, the process begins at birth and we now find ourselves with a high school graduate.  For those of you really paying attention...this took 18 years.  Please focus on the last part of that last sentence..."this took 18 years."  This is discipleship.  There is no quick fix option for making followers of Christ.  For making "rule-followers" and "pew sitters"?  That's the easiest thing in the world.  But, discipleship is an entirely different row to hoe.  But...even here...after high school...we are not done.  If those 18 years were rough, the "terrible two's", adolescence, the temptations of high school...what about college?  Career?  Life in the church?  Parenthood?

Milestone 7- Life in Christ. "Every adult has a place at the table of Milestone 7--single or married, kids or no kids, young or old, all of us must abide in Christ and join him in the mission.  Churches embracing a strategy linking church and home for the spiritual formation of the next generation can;t afford to be apathetic about adult spiritual development.  All along the path of milestones, we ask adults to be disciple-makers.  Adults who become parents are expected to be the primary faith influencers of their children.  Adults from every season of life serve in the ministries relating to children and teenagers.  The key to this entire strategy involves developing adults who are also parents, volunteer leaders and deeply committed Christ-followers."

Wow.  You read that right, every single adult in the church, regardless of age, situation...every one, is committed to making disciples of the young people in the church.  

• Champion:  The champion for this milestone is the discipleship pastor, spiritual formation pastor or senior pastor.  This person has three primary responsibilities:
• Selection of curriculum that is focused on making disciples of Jesus Christ, teaches the Bible, embraces the core competencies (below) of this milestone, and integrates families.  If this seems like a lot, it is because it is.  As noted above, discipleship is not easy, and frankly, we need to stop acting like we make them when people simply sit in a pew for an hour on Sunday mornings.  If we are not holistic in our approach...if we are not truly equipping people, then we are not making disciples.  
• Equips volunteer leaders to teach the Bible and model life in Christ.  If we are not equipping out lay leaders to lead, we are failing.
• Works to equip all the adults to pursue life as people abiding in Christ. 
  
• Core Competencies:  
• Prayer- "When we study the earthly life of Jesus, we find a man of prayer."
• Scripture- "Followers of Christ learn to study Scripture so they can live Jesus' way."
• Authentic faith- "Authentic faith bows to the supremacy of Jesus as King, recognizing him as the head of every church and every home, according to Colossians 1:18."
• Obedient follower- "Obedient followers know the Shepherd's voice and respond to his direction."
• Disciple-maker- "We point adults to every ministry in our church for the opportunity to disciple others."  This is a fascinating concept, and one that I believe many churches miss.  Serving on the worship team, the building team, leading a class, cleaning the bathrooms, working in the kitchen, time with students...it's all about making disciples.  If we've not made that clear...then people are simply "filling a spot."  Every role we fill is bent on making disciples.
• Giving/serving- "What if we truly gave and served to the point of making ourselves last so everyone else could be first?  What if we were truly servants of all?  Adults who embrace this core competency join in Christ's ministry to others.  Parents who learn to give and serve raise kids who respect others, love others, and prove it by giving and serving.  Husbands and wives who give and serve don't divorce."
• Community- "We were designed for community.  The problem is that we're conditioned to be individualistc and self-sufficient...Biblical church is community."
• Equipping Environments:  
• Small group Bible studies- Teach adults Scripture and foster community
• Adult education- Wednesday night classes geared to teach core competencies of the various milestones, within community.
• Worship- Immerses adults in Scripture and milestones are highlighted as they occur.

Hard questions/why this might fail:  How committed are we to making disciples?  A strategy like the one above will force us to re-think every aspect of our corporate church life.  Sacred cows will be killed left and right, our time will be dramatically re-oriented, our priority-set will change.  We will spend time leading people down paths that might be better for them, against their wishes.  We will be constantly forced to choose between what we desire, and what we need to become a fully-committed follower of Christ.  While there are areas that could be implemented without full and complete church support, the implementation will be limited.

What might a complete overhaul within your church context look like?
How may people might you be willing to have walk because of a change of focus?
What kind of leaders might you need to recruit and equip to implement change?
What are the holes in the above strategy?  What are the blind-spots...the problems?

And...the most important question...is the above Biblical?  Why?  Why not?


Questions?  Concerns?  Possible solutions?

Family Ministry- A Model- Milestones 5 & 6

Part 1


Part 2


Part 3- Milestones 1 & 2

Part 4- Milestones 3 & 4

Milestone 5- Passage to Adulthood. This milestone "delineates the responsibilities associated with becoming a man or woman of God.  It also lays out the Bible's expectations that parents will lead their children to become men and women of God before they leave home."  This is the opportunity for kids, along with their parents, to become increasingly involved in specific activities within the church. 

• Core Competencies: Roles of men and women, spiritual gifts and service, basic tenets of faith
  
• Champion:  The champion for this milestone is the student ministry team, specifically a small group leader or the youth minister. 
• Parent Seminar:  "Preparing my Child for Adulthood"- Parents are equipped to  help their kids identify the spiritual gifts that are present and exercise them in their families and the church.  This seminar takes place in grades 9-10; parents are shown how to discuss a Biblical worldview using Faith Talks and God Sightings with their kids.   
• Church Event:  There is no church event for this milestone, because it is meant to be done solely within the context of family.
• Family Event: Parents are encouraged to create their own event for their children that clearly communicates that the young person is not a man or woman.  This would be similar to a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah for Jewish boys or girls.

Milestone 6- High School Graduation.   In this milestone, the church seeks to equip parents to lead discussions about God's plan for their children to be disciple-makers as the prepare for post-high school life.  Parents are taught how to defend their faith that they may pass those skills to their children.

• Core Competencies: Defending my faith, God's plan for my life, dating, marriage, life skills
  
• Champion: The champion here is the student ministry team, specifically, the youth minister or a small group leader takes on this role within the church, the family and the students.  Parents are encouraged to continue Faith Talks and God Sightings, and for seniors, a specific set of lessons is taught on Sunday mornings.  Their parents are taught the same material in their own small group context. 
• Parent Seminar: "Preparing My Child to Leave Home"- This seminar equips parents to both encourage and deal with the hard questions of faith that their kids are dealing with.  It teaches them to use Scripture as their "true north" so that their kids can confidently defend their beliefs.  Additionally, parents are encouraged to be in real relationship with their kids, this culminates in a parental "blessing" ceremony.
• Church Event: The church event is a "Senior Summit"- This event includes a meal and times of reflection, thanksgiving and blessing.  During the parent seminar, parents were encouraged to write a blessing for their children; at the senior summit, this blessing is given to their children.  These young men and women leave this night knowing with confidence that their parents are proud of them and excited about the future.
• Family Event: "Blessing"

 
Questions?  Concerns?  Possible solutions?

Family Ministry- A Model- Milestones 3 & 4

Part 1


Part 2


Part 3- Milestones 1 & 2


Milestone 3- Preparing for Adolescence.  "This stage of development requires parents to rethink how they connect with their children relationally to lead them spiritually....Understanding our identity in Christ answers two questions that are important for every person to answer: Who am I--and whose am I?"  The church comes alongside parents to help them lead these Faith Talks and God Sightings at home. 

• Core Competencies: Identity in Christ, spiritual growth, spiritual disciplines
  
• Champion:  The champion for this milestone is the children's ministry team in conjunction with the student ministry team.  The focus is on Faith Talks, God Sightings and resources to equip parents.
• Parent Seminar:  This seminar takes place before age 9; while that seems (and is) young, the foundation for identity in Christ must be set early because the challenge to maintain that identity in light of our cultures sexualization.  Here, parents learn how to help their children navigate physical change, identity and sex issues. 
• Church Event:  Each year, Brian's church has a 24-hour retreat for fourth and fifth grade students that specifically deal with one of the core competencies for this milestone.  In the time leading up to this retreat, the childrens ministry focuses on spiritual disciplines, identity and spiritual growth.  Sexual purity is NOT addressed, but parents are resource for a family/parent getaway to specifically address it.
• Family Event: This is a Road Trip that has been carefully planned by the parents to celebrate the transition into adolescence.  The Faith Talks and God Sightings that precede this lay the foundation for the event.  

Milestone 4- Commitment to Purity.   "Purity for life is a foreign concept in mainstream culture.  Without a foundational moral source like the Bible, young people face a chaotic number of relational options.  But God has a clear plan for life, relationships, marriage and sex."  .  The ages between 7-13 are when many children growing up in a Christian home will make a commitment to Christ.  What does this look like?

• Core Competencies: Biblical purity, healthy relationships, identity in Christ
  
• Champion: The champion here is the student ministry team, specifically, the youth minister or a small group leader takes on this role within the church, the family and the students.  They "ensure that integration is occurring between the youth ministry experience at church and the parents' spiritual direction at home."  Curriculum, events, and programming is intentionally chosen to reflect the competencies and parents are sourced for Faith Talks and God Sightings. 
• Parent Seminar: This seminar takes place at the beginning of a students' 6th grade year, and Brian has mature high school seniors share about the realities of a sexualized culture with parents.  A number of resources are made available to parents, with the key being parents encouraged to keep the lines of communication open about this topic. 
• Church Event: The church event is a Commitment to Purity weekend.  A representative from a local crisis pregnancy center might be brought in on Friday to share the experiences of that person and organization.  "The youth ministry and pregnancy help center can only reiterate the principles parents have been teaching for months."  Saturday is a discussion-based event about identity in Christ, friendships, accountability and wide variety of other similar topics discussed.  Sunday worship is a celebration of purity and commitment.
• Family Event: The family gives their son or daughter a purity ring as a symbol of their commitment.

Again, we are at the "gee...this looks perfect."   I've said it before, and I will say it again: parents need to step it up.  But, the church must be there to help them step it up.  In Exodus 17, Moses' arms grew tired, Aaron and Hur held them up.  Here is the honest truth, the church as a whole has, for too long, taken the place of parents in spiritual development.  There are a ton of reasons for this, some legitimate, most are not.  I love parents, and want to equip them, but, this must be a church-wide effort. 






"Parents must be pursuing spiritual growth and exercising spiritual disciplines as an outpouring of their identity in Christ to influence their children to do the same.  This is why a strong adult Christian education ministry is so important."  If the adult education process in a church is not clearly focused on making disciples and equipping the Body of Christ to make disciples above all other things, a student and children's ministry will be limited, and severely so.  


Hard question: How can we lovingly come alongside parents to teach and equip them, knowing that some might not want to disciple their kids?


Questions?  Concerns?  Possible solutions?

Family Ministry, part 3- Roots

What is "family ministry"? 

Since I am a Christian, I will defer to God's Word (aka-The Bible) for some tips. 

Point 1- Parents have a primary faith influence (even if they are absent), either positively or negatively.  They leave a legacy whether they like it or not.

A brief overview of the first few books of the Bible will show us that things are passed down from parent to child. 

• Cain likely learned about bitterness and anger from his parents, Adam and Eve.  No doubt, they spent many a day arguing and blaming one another about their former residence: the Garden of Eden.
• Noah's sons learned to build an altar from him after the Flood.
• Abram tried to pass his wife Sarai off as his sister, which would later be repeated by his son Isaac.

Point 2- This spiritual legacy is God's plan.

• Deuteronomy 6:6-9- "Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates." 
• Understanding this verse is ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL.  There are two types of conversations commanded here: informal and formal (More on this tomorrow).
• Psalm 78:5-8- "He planted a witness in Jacob, set his Word firmly in Israel, Then commanded our parents to teach it to their children So the next generation would know, and all the generations to come—Know the truth and tell the stories so their children can trust in God, Never forget the works of God but keep his commands to the letter. Heaven forbid they should be like their parents, bullheaded and bad, A fickle and faithless bunch who never stayed true to God."
• Notice the word "COMMANDED".
• Proverbs 22:6- "Point your kids in the right direction—when they're old they won't be lost."
• This implies consistent effort and engagement by parents.  
• Ephesians 6:4- "Fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master."

So, here you go:

Parents, you are leaving a legacy.
You are called to do so.

Here are two questions worth asking:

"What kind of legacy will you leave?"

"What does it mean for how a church practices ministry if the church and family are to partner together to make disciples through spiritual formation?"

Join the conversation!  Leave comments, questions and concerns below.

Upcoming Dates

We've tried to be as comprehensive as possible so that you  (and we) can plan our calendars and our budgets.  I've also included event costs where possible.   Here are the dates of a number of things coming up...please read this CAREFULLY! 

While our Mexico mission trip is listed below, there will be a separate post later in the week, addressing not only the two biggest questions that a parent will have about that trip: safety and cost, but also on our expectations for those that desire to join us.  I'll keep you informed!

August 26 (5:30-10pm), August 27 (8:30am-4pm)

• Student Ministry Team Retreat
• This is for all members of our student ministry team, as well as parents and other interested adults.   

Wednesday, September 7

• E-KLUB/Middle School Youth Group starts
• 6-8pm

 Sunday, September 18

• High School Youth Group starts
• 5:45-8pm

Friday, September 16-Sunday, September 18

• All-Church Retreat at North East Iowa Christian Service Camp
• For all: students, parents, members, non-members 

Sunday, October 16

• Eastview Harvest Party
• Following Sunday services
• Zieser home, Center Point
• All are invited

Monday, October 31

• Trunk or Treat at Eastview Christian Church
•   6-8pm

Thursday, November 3 - Sunday, November 6

• "The Event" at Ozark Christian College
• This is our annual mid-year high school trip to visit a Christian College; it's a mini-conference, college visit and relationship-builder rolled into one event.  
• Cost will be $90/student; this covers all event registration, food, lodging, and transportation. 
• $30 deposit and registration form (available soon) due by Sunday, October 16.

Wednesday, November 16

• Thanksgiving Celebration at Eastview
• 6-8pm

December, Christmas event- Date and Times to be announced

Saturday, February 11, 2012

• Spaghetti Dinner/Dessert Auction/Talent Show
• Because of this HUGE fundraiser, we can help kids get to camp, events like CIY: Believe and everything else that we do.  
• Speaking of CIY: Believe...

Thursday February 17 - Sunday, February 19

• CIY: Believe is our annual mid-year middle school trip, and they won't want to miss it.
• We're going back to St Louis for an amazing time of worship, great speakers that share with middle school students in mind and some solid relationship-building between our students and adults.  
• Cost will be in the $150 range, which covers event registration, hotel lodging, food, fun...everything!  

Early July, 2012

• Mexico Mission Trip to San Luis Potosi, Mexico
• While this trip is open to any of those entering high school and above for the 2012-2013 school year, it is not for everyone.  We will have several informational meetings in November (you just need to attend one) to discuss this trip, the issues and, expectations surrounding it, in detail
• Assist with several different Vacation Bible Schools in and around the city of San Luis Potosi, Mexico.
• Trip cost in 2010 was $1000/participant.  While we will make every effort to maintain this level, transportation cost is the largest variable.  

Summer Camp Dates, 2012 (all costs were the 2011 early-bird camp year cost, and subject to change)

June 10-15:     Middle School Camp #1      $155

June 17-23:     High School Camp #2          $185

June 24- 27:    3rd, 4th, 5th Grade Camp      $125

June 29-30:     2nd, 3rd Grade Camp            $35
 
July 8-13:        Middle School Camp #2       $155

July 15-19:     4th, 5th Grade Camp              $125


July 22-28:      High School Camp #2           $185

Please contact me either by phone (319) 393-9570 or email (jmulholland@eastview.net) with thoughts, questions or concerns.  We are looking forward to another excellent year!

Homeward's Weekly Culture Brief: 7/8/11

Great resource for parents, see more info here. 

iTunes Top 10 Downloaded Songs - 7/8/11
   1. Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO
   2. Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) - Katy Perry
   3. Give Me Everything - Pitbull
   4. Rolling in the Deep - Adele
   5. Good Life - OneRepublic
   6. Super Bass - Nicki Minaj
   7. Tonight Tonight - Hot Chelle Rae
   8. How to Live - Lil Wayne
   9. Dirt Road Anthem - Jason Aldean
  10. The Edge of Glory - Lady GaGa
Source: Apple iTunes

Top 5 Most Viewed Videos on YouTube - Week Ending - 7/8/11
   1. Katy Perry - Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)
   2. Shakira - Rabiosa (English Version)
   3. Rihanna - Man Down
   4. Chris Brown - Next to You
   5. Britney Spears - I Wanna Go
Source: YouTube